I tried not to fixate on either Sam or Mark. Or sex. Especially not sex. Before I’d kissed Mark that fateful day, I thought I knew what sex was all about. The cock got hard and entered the vee, depositing sperm to fertilize a waiting egg. Simple, right?Of course, I hadn’t considered there was an actual guy attached to the cock who may or may not be a jerk. And if you wanted to enjoy getting the sperm deposited without consequences, it required some unromantic planning and a guy that wasn’t a jerk. No one mentioned that finding a nice guy was the hardest part of the whole process.Then there is the whole emotional thing that goes along with sex that no one talked about in health class. You really have to trust someone to let them put their cock inside you. I mean, I spent literal hours getting comfortable with Mark before I let him give me a hot beef injection.I don’t regret it for a minute, but I can say the process was nothing like I had imagined it would be before we kissed. Again,. She was tiedinto this foul contract and I had totally ignored what she was goingthrough and how she must be feeling. She had tried to protect me andlike an idiot I had accused her of having an affair with Kritsada. Thememory of my words to her scorched like sulphur in my brain.I loved Alex and had been a colossal fool to react and behave as I did. Istarted to feel sick again but this time for a different reason.Kritsada's words about courage being the ability to make the rightdecision under pressure came flooding back to me. I had flunked that testthis time. Had I just thrown away the most important thing I had ever hadin my life?"I know I love her, Sam, but I don't know if I can handle this thing withKritsada, and she doesn't want to see me again."She thumped me hard on the arm and said, "That's just miserable selfpity. Snap out of it. I can guarantee that if she loves you there will bea way to get her to see you again. Is there anything that can be donewith Kritsada?" I've met him.
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